happy new year!!!!

Can't believe 2013 lurks around the corner....just a little over 7 hours away.  I have to say that I am somewhat grateful for a new year.  This is been a bit of a blah year for me. Yes, we have been blessed beyond measure, but there is just some bit of dissatisfaction with the way things have gone.  It has been a hard year!!!  But honestly, I know the discontent is with in my self and I will search out the Father's heart for what this year holds.  That is what I intend to do...I will not spend another month or year in this funk.  My brain is churning with all the things I would like to change fix revamp consider polish rethink...don't even know the word that best fits.

I had pretty much quit blogging because I just simply didn't make the time. As looked back through all the posts, I see what a story it tells of my precious family. So blog I will continue to do...they are growing ever so quickly and I want to document each moment to love and cherish for later years.

happy.new.year my friends...may 2013 be the best of our lives.  may God open doors in our lives that allow us to experience His fullness.  may we enjoy each breath that He has given.  my prayer is that we each treasure every second with our precious families this year.

many blessings from our family to your family....we are blessed to have each of you in our lives.

almost a teenager

Last Saturday marked the last birthday Calleigh Marie will be celebrating as a pre-teen.  This is definitely a bittersweet moment for me, the mom!! Oh, how I love the moments she and I spend together as mother-daughter.  I love the talks we have about friends, and about boys.  I love the talks we share about our beliefs and why we do the things we do.  I love hearing her perspective on life.  Oh, there are moments between us that aren't so lovely, but I am not even goin' there....

Twelve years ago, our hearts changed forever!!  I remember back to our before kids day...I could not wait to have a baby.  I wanted you so very badly.  I could not wait to be pregnant, I could not wait to hold you and rock you.  You were my dream come true!!

You are my only baby that was LATE.  {Guess you are truly your father's child.}  Daddy and I went to Amarillo on the day you were supposed to be born to see your uncle Todd's team play football.  After the game, we went to eat dinner.  I remember feeling yucky, but crediting it to just being tired.

Little did I know that only  3 hours after I went to bed, I would be up again with my water breaking.

I remember...

• being so upset that I was going in to labor because Dr. Carrillo was out of town.  I just wanted MY doctor.
• calling the doctor on call at 2:30 am, and he told be to try to get some sleep.  YEAH RIGHT...this was first baby.  How was I supposed to get some sleep???
• going back to bed, realizing sleep was never going to happen, and finally getting up to shave my legs.
• your daddy running into the bathroom reminding me not to take a bath since my water had broken {he learned this is child birthing class}
• getting in the car to head to the hospital...nerves, excitement, tears...this was the day we had waited for
• telling your daddy it was TIME...he was on the phone talking fantasy football.  Boy did his demeanor change.  Mimi and I had worried about whether he could handle childbirth.  But, when the time came...he did fantastic.  He has been a super dad ever since.
• telling the world you were a GIRL.  We kept it a secret {well, from most everyone}.  Mimi, Banny and I think Kelly did know.  I dreamed of a little girl...always!!

From that moment, we have been so amazingly proud of you.  You have grown so quickly.  I have to admit, that I couldn't wait for you to crawl, or walk, or reach any of the milestones that children reach.  I wish I could just go back and hold you, and snuggle you, and smell your sweet baby smell.  I love that you are growing up, but it is so hard to let you grow older and be a big girl.

Life was so simple when you were born.  I know it is hard to believe, but your daddy and I were home every night {almost} and we would sit and hold you and watch TV.  What a life!!!

I love you so very much.  I love being your mom.  I love every moment you and I spend together.  You are my precious girl.  I pray that as you grow, you will allow God to mold your heart and lead you.  I know He has an amazing plan for your life.  I see His hand at work already in your life.  I pray that God blesses you immensely.

Love you so much...Mom

the big picture

Two weeks ago today, a great kid from Vega High suffered a life changing injury.  An injury that may never allow him to walk again, to use his arms again, to experience life as he knew it again.  Life as we  all know it for that matter.

Yesterday, after two really hard weeks, he flew to California with his mom for intensive rehab.  Although my heart is rejoicing that he is going to rehab, by heart is aching at the separation of his family.  I can't even imagine the heart ache of putting my child on a plane to go a thousand miles away.  Not being there for every crucial moment of recovery.  This makes my heart ache.  Ache to the point of crying big tears for them. {This would be very ugly.}

As the two weeks have passed, I caught my self asking God what his plan was for Luis.  How does this fit into His plan?  Why do such horrible things HAVE TO HAPPEN??  Sometimes, I just don't get the big picture.  But over and over and over and over, God reminded me that He has a plan for Luis.  And this is part of His plan.  {I will never leave you or forsake you. Hebrews 13:5}

I want to see the big picture.  I want to see how the story ends.  I am impatient and don't want to wait for the long recovery.  I want to know it's all going to be ok.

I think...we don't see the big picture because if we automatically see the end, the big picture, we wouldn't run into His arms, and fall on our knees, and cry out to him to heal our friend.  If we immediately saw how the story ended, we wouldn't learn to lean upon Him for strength and peace and comfort.  So we wait...

Father, I know this IS part of your plan.  Thank you for having a plan for each one of us.  Show us your glory in these weeks and months in Luis's recovery and all the life situations we encounter on a daily basis.  Remind me daily Father to fall at your feet and lean upon your understanding.

Be blessed...

dear carson

Today you turn 10!!  No more single digits for you! I can't believe you are growing up so quickly.  You are such an amazing young man.  Your precious, sweet heart is my favorite thing about you.  I love the way you are concerned with others feelings.  I love the way you are so gentle with your baby sister.  I love hearing you and Calleigh laugh together. I love your quirky sense of humor that often makes me giggle.  I love your laugh, and I love your smile!!   I am so incredibly proud of you....I love you!!

The day you were born was so laid back.  I had gone to the doctor two days earlier and Dr. Carrillo scheduled for me to be induced.  You were a few days early, but I was ready to have a baby.  Going to the hospital was not panicked or rushed, it was just like driving to an appointment.  However, much more exciting.

I remember telling my nurse how quickly Calleigh was born and that you were likely to be born as quickly. I think she thought I was just some young mom, and I really didn't know what I was talking about.  Daddy and I laid around watching TV for a few hours and suddenly it was time.  The nurse hadn't even called Dr. Carrillo to come to the hospital.  I was READY!!!

I remember Dr. Carrillo walking into the room and asking if he had time to put on his scrubs.  I wanted to grab him by the collar and tell him NO!!, but we waited.  And just like I told her...YOU WERE HERE!!  When they held you up, I knew immediately that you were smaller than Callegh was when she was born.  Sure enough, you weigh in at 6 lbs., 13 oz.

As we brought you home, our life began crazy!!  All of the sudden, I realized I had not one baby, but two.  As grown up as I thought Calleigh was, I was quickly reminded that she was still a baby in a sense.  She still wanted to be held just like a baby.  And so did you!!


I remember nap times were often in our old blue rocking chair.  I would have one baby in each crook of my arm, and we would all three sleep for hours.  There is nothing better to hold my babes and sleep!!

Having an older sister, you played all the girly games your sister wanted to play.  You even let her dress you up. What a good sport you were and always have been.

Watching you develop in an athlete has been such a fun experience as your mom.  I honestly dreaded the day that you played tackle football, but this has been the most fun time for me.  I have loved every second of it.  I pray that God protects you in all you do.  I pray that you continue to allow God to grow you in your talents.  I know He has great plans for you.

Carson, you are a great kid!!!  Don't ever let the world tell you differently.  You have a precious heart.  Allow God to mold your heart as you grow.  You make me so proud of you.  I love you with all my heart.  And I LOVE being your mom!!  What a precious gift God gave your dad and I 10 years ago.

I hope your birthday is fabulous!!!

Mom

it's a crazy life, but it's mine

I know how incredibly busy we are.  I mean, all I have to do is look around my house and realize that some days we come in just long enough to sleep, and then we are off again for a new adventure.  Adventure?  Well maybe not too adventuresome, but our life is always some type of adventure.

Two weeks ago, Cydney stayed in Vega at a birthday party, Calleigh was walking in the Walk for Life in Amarillo, Carson was warming up for a football game in Amarillo, and I ran a quick errand with the few minutes I had between dropping Carson off and the actual game. 

As I was putting {over $100 worth...choke, choke} gas in my suburban, I decided to do a few calculations of just how busy the Kirkland family is.  The results were staggering, earth-shaking, and made me a little nauseous.

In a two week period....

          

          ...969 miles

          ...30 hours in the car (engine running....I assume we were in the car!)

          ...$275 in gas

Holy, moly!!!

Two more weekends of football...slow down?  Nope, still have a full calendar and Carson jumps right into basketball!!  So much for rest....

pinterest love

Weeks later, I am still suffering from a serious addiction to Pinterest.  I have searched through recipes, birthday party ideas, clothing that I love, cute hair cuts...you name it!!  I made a vow last week that if I was going to spend so much time combing through all the wonderful things, I was going to have to put some of them into effect.

I am very happy to report that I did just that.  This week my family tried a few new recipes.  Recipe #1 was an artichoke pasta recipe.  I wasn't overly fond of it and already deleted it from my board.  It wasn't terrible, just not worth fixing again.

Quit the contrary for this recipe.  One evening I made this roasted sausage and veggie recipe and it was so delish.  It was a crazy night at our house and dinner was a little on the fly.  With this casserole, I was able to get it ready with little prep work, toss in in the oven, and then we could pretty much eat when we had a minute.  I think I might have had two such minutes because I am pretty sure I ate twice.  Shh, please don't tell!!

Next on my list of goodies to make are these yummy looking pizza bites.  I think my kids will rave about these.  What a great after school snack or school lunch.  A little ranch dressing and I think we will be all over these babies!!!

A roast has been cooking in the oven all afternoon.  I can't wait to walk through the doors when we get home from school.  I think these potatoes will make an amazing side dish instead of just regular mashed potatoes.  {Besides, I am not much of a gravy girl...just can't make brown gravy well!}

Calleigh has decided to have her upcoming birthday party at the house.  When it comes to extravagant birthday parties, I fail miserably.  I am hoping that Pinterest will give me just the motivation and inspiration to make her last "little girl" birthday party a blast.  This will her last year before she "officially" becomes a TEENAGER!!  A whole other post....

As for now, I will be scowering Pinterest for great girl birthday party ideas...then for the follow through of actually preparing them.

Be blessed...

time

Last night as I crawled into bed, I noticed a Carebridge update from a lady I am following.  Most of the people on Carebridge are terminally ill, usually cancer.  I honestly don't know why I follow them because their stories break my heart.  Their stories have a impact to someone in my life, even if not directly connected to me.

As I was reading her update, she talked about the value of TIME in her life.  For her entire grown up life, she has taken time for granted.  But, her doctors have told her that 2-5 years would be a miracle for her.  Her life has been put into a new TIME perspective.

I laid in my bed sobbing.  I was hoping Robby couldn't hear my sniffles as he was drifting off to sleep.  She is teacher, she is a mom with young "threads," she has an amazing husband that she wants to spend  forever with.  JUST LIKE ME!!!

It really made me think about TIME.  We never know how much of we have left?  What do I do with my time?  Often times we fill every moment of our time with something.  We want to make sure our kids "experience" all of life.  We (as a family) don't want to miss a thing.

What if TIME changed for me?  What if TIME changed for you?  Are you content or satisfied with how your days are spent?  What would you do differently?  What would change?

I would focus less on making sure all the "chores" were finished and spend more TIME with my kids.  Thinking back to yesterday...Carson asked me to listen to his UIL Oral Reading story.  I remembered when he was already tucked in his bed, sound asleep.  Didn't get done.  I was more intently focused on  us cleaning out the car, wiping down windows, scrubbing the carpets because the car was driving me crazy!!!  I know for a fact I missed an opportunity to rock Cydney.

Quit honestly, there are things I so desperately want to change involving how we spend our time, but I just can't make the change happen.  I don't know how.  It all goes back to...we don't want to miss a thing.

TIME could change in the blink of an eye.

one week down

Aside from a few minor meltdowns, mom and kids made it through our first week back at school.  It was an awesome week.  I love my classes.  All of my students are fun and sweet.  They even still think I am sweet.  I laugh and tell their parents that will change after next week.  HA!!!

After meeting all my students, some returning in 8th grade and others new to 7th grade, I am very excited for the year to come.  They are going to be a great group of kids to work with.  Seventh graders were mostly scared to death of ending up in the wrong class, or not doing it right.  They did an awesome job!!  Next week they will have the system down easily and be old pros.

Calleigh and Carson had a great week too.  They both are LOVING their teachers.  What a relief for mom to have a school with such amazing teachers.  Looking forward to their successes in school this year.

I won't be receiving Mother of the Year this year.  I forgot to take FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL pictures.  I know, you say how can that be?  I don't know.  We weren't rushed.  Just got to school before I thought of it.  Then, it was just embarrassing, and I hated to humiliate them on the first day of school.  I probably do a good job at that without trying.

Although I would love to be home this weekend and do laundry and kick back, we will spend tomorrow in town playing basketball.  UGH...I am so tired!!!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

rain

Last night our dry and thirsty land finally got a drink!!  Thank you Lord!!!

Who knew rain could be so much fun!!!

{regroup.reorganize.try again}

With school lurking around the corner for the members of this household {sniff, sniff}, I decided I better get my act together and get an organizational plan for me...the leader of the circus.  Sometimes I feel like it takes an act of congress to get this family organized and headed out the door with all of our belongings in hand.  I was thinking I needed to toss some ideas that didn't work for us last year and begin anew.

My first task was better planning our meals throughout the week.  Not only that, but to better utilize our time and money when it comes to grocery shopping.  I will be the first to admit...as much as I would love to clip a few coupons to save our family some money, I just don't have the time, desire or patience.  And it seems grocery shopping takes a million times longer because I am sorting through coupons and going to this store and that.  Simply, I don't have time for that.

After some Pinterest hunting, I combined some ideas and came up with a menu-planner that I think will work swell for me.  Here is the result!!  I really, really like it!!  I think it will function well for the needs of our family.  Besides that, it is cute too!!

At the moment, my plan is to make enough copies for the year and put them in a small binder.  Then I can just grab that binder on my way to the store.  Sounds like a great plan...time to implement it.  Well, maybe next week.  I have to go pack for a basketball trip on Thursday.

Be blessed my friends,

mom challenge

Saturday we had Cydney's birthday party and before the party could get here I found my self frazzled, grumpy and ready to bite my children's head off.  Really, I did bite their heads off!!!  I had to ask over and over to get things done, and I had had it!!  As I ask forgiveness from them that evening, it left me feeling like a terrible mom.  I knew something had to change...and soon!!!

For one, I will not ask more than once to get something done.  After that, they will suffer the consequences.  I sat them down last night and explained my expectations and consequences to them.  Let's hope they were listening.  If not, it could be some miserable last days for the Kirkland Kids.  It would totally stink to spend the rest of the summer in their rooms contemplating their behaviors.

But I knew my heart needed softening too...In the mean time, I found this 30 day Mom Challenge.  Maybe this was God's way of giving me one thing to work on everyday to improve my own actions towards my children. What better day to start than TODAY...the first of the month.

I love that it says "Mom's Ultimate To-Do List."  I get to caught up in life and all that I having going, that I often forget they are my top priority, my greatest job, and biggest blessing.

I made a copy to hang on my fridge to remind me my big job... 24/7, 365 days a year.

Hopefully, I will blog about my experiences as I work through this challenge.  If this is something you would like to join me in, please leave us comment and we can keep each other accountable.

You are a super mom!!!

another year

It's funny how I have a hard time remembering details of last month, last week, or even yesterday for that matter.  But then there are moments that are etched on my heart.  So defining, it is as if the moment just happened.

Three years ago today, our precious baby girl made her grand appearance into this world.  A day that is forever etched on my heart...as with the birth of my other two kids.  (It funny how I can see it so clearly.)

It was our annual family trip to Wonderland.  Let me hear a WOOHOO!!!  I had an OB appointment, so I went in around lunch to the dr., was going to pre-register at the hospital, run errands, and meet the family for supper and a night of fun!!

I remember...

...being excited because this was the first OB appointment Dr. Carrillo would check if I had dilated.

...being disappointed when Dr. Carrillo was out of town and only the nurse would see me.  She wasn't even going to check me because I was still about 4 weeks from delivery.  I had been having contractions for about a month (since we walked 4,000 miles in Pittsburg and New York City...not one of my smarter decisions!)  But she did!!

...the shock as she said "You wanted to have a baby today!!  You're dilated to a 5!!"

...thinking Robby is working, we are going to Wonderland, my suitcase isn't even finished packing.  I have pre-registered at the hospital.

TODAY??  REALLY??

The nurse wouldn't let me move until she had called the hospital to tell them I was coming.  She made me feel like a ticking time bomb!!

...calling Robby while he was having lunch at his mom's.  I told him the news.  Part of me was so excited, yet nervous and scared...all in a moment.

...trying to coach my mom via the phone how to finish packing my bags and what to bring to the hospital.  Robby was just coming...nothing in hand but my pillows!!

...the nurse telling me to drive straight to the hospital.  The nurses were waiting my arrival.  Sounds so glamorous...not really!!

...the hospital was packed with mom's having babies or had just had a baby.  There were no rooms in the inn.  They had to just stick me in a triage room and wait, and wait, and wait!!!

Because Dr. Carrillo was out of town, I was in the hands of the doctor on call.  The first one didn't want any part of delivering me because Cydney was almost 4 weeks pre-term.  When he told us of all the problems that could occur with a baby that early, it sure didn't ease our nerves at all.  But still, I was dilated to a 5. (One thing I failed to mention is that with my other two babes, I delivered both in 30 minutes or less of pushing.  Yeah, I know.  I just lost some of you right there!  Life isn't fair sometimes.  I am sorry some of you had to push for days!!)

Thankfully Dr. Carrasco came to our rescue and realized I could not go home.  They admitted me, moved me to a room, gave me an epidural (which didn't work), broke my water, and we had a baby.

I remember...

...feeling horrible during delivery.  Childbirth hurts without epidurals.  I was throwing up.  Not comparable to the cake walk of my other two.

...the moment she was born, it all went away.

...the first time I saw Dr. Carrasco hold her up.  Oh my, she was so tiny.  She only weighed 5 pounds 10 ounces.  It was almost as if she was a baby doll.

I am so thankful for the that precious blessing.  She brings us so much joy everyday.  She is pretty darn cute too!!

Today, we celebrated her birthday with just us.  Three year well check at the pediatrician.  You will be happy to know she has come a LONG way since 5 pounds, 10 ounces.  She has made up for it!!  Calleigh bought her a princess sash...that she won't wear.  Tomorrow is the birthday party.  She is so excited!!  We were walking tonight at a friend's birthday party, and she told me "I just want a birthday party."  Awww!!

Tonight as she climbed into my bed, she hollered at her dad.  "Dad, I love you!!"  He replied with I love you too Cydney.  About a minute later..."Dad, I still love you!!"

It's the little things that make the world go round.  Happy birthday Cydney Claire.  We love you dearly!!

Dad, Mom, Calleigh & Carson

so cool...well if you're a teacher

While searching teacher blogs last night for a good writing lesson plan template, I came across this cool website called Tagxedo.  Wonder where that name came from?  I don't even know how to pronounce that. For my students that are familiar with Wordle, this is just a way cooler version of it.  (Yes, way cooler is a word in Jr. High!)  Go try it out and let me know what you think.  If you are teacher...there are a million ways to use it in the classroom.  Tell me one way you think you might use it in your classroom.

I'll start....I think I could use it in my spelling center to practice the weeks spelling words.

Oh yeah...and have fun!!

my new love

This week I discovered a new addiction love thanks to Darby!!! (My family is so grateful to you!)  It's crazy.  I don't even know why I love it so much, but I do.  I have spent hours and hours playing, and looking, and searching, and drooling, and wishing I was creative and rich so I could do, do, do!!

Ok, ok...I have kept you waiting long enough.  It's this new (at least to me) website that is an online bulletin board.  There is EVERYTHING!!  I originally thought is was so cool for my classroom, but the possibilities are endless.



You have just gotta visit.  If you have an i-phone, they have an app for that (imagine that, right!)

If you like it and want to see what I have "pinned" here is a link to my bulletin board.
http://pinterest.com/amykirkland/pins/

So cool!!  I absolutely love it!!!

Happy pinning!!!

i do

My dearest Robby...

I am so blessed to have married you sixteen years ago today.  As I met you at the end of the aisle, I was head over heels in love.  Although I was in love you from the beginning, today our love has grown to be so much more than I ever dreamed.  I am so blessed and honored to be your wife.

You are so kind and generous.  I love your heart!!  And I love your eyes and your smile!!
You balance me in so many ways.

Even though our life is often a circus wild & crazy, I am so thankful for the three little monkeys we have together.  Being their mother beings me the greatest joys in life.

Our babies are so absolutely beautiful!!

You have given me a life that is far greater than any princess could imagine.  Thank you for working so hard to provide a great life for the kids and I.  Once again, we are so blessed!!

In so many crazy words...this is how I feel about you my love.

Thank you for making ME the happiest woman in the world. 

with all of my heart.

Happy Anniversary

I said I DO 16 years ago, and I DO today and always.

I am so excited for the next 16 years and all the years to come.

I look forward to sharing our dreams and growing old together.

I know through the love that has grown between us over these past years,

we can weather any storm.

I love you!!

85 years

Only about a month ago, I sure didn't think my precious grandmother would be celebrating her 85th birthday with a celebration at our house.  What a double blessing to have her this past weekend.  About a month ago, she became seriously ill and doctors weren't quit sure what to diagnose her with.  Honestly, I am not sure they still know, but they said encephalitis.  What I do know is she was a very sick little lady.

Praise Jesus, she has made a great recovery and was able to come to our home to celebrate her birthday with a cookout and birthday cake.  Even at 85 years old, a birthday wouldn't be a birthday without cake and ice cream.  She deserves it!

A few of her great-grands enjoyed crowding around to help her "blow" our her candles.  (No, we didn't put 85 candles on the cake!) I think she had a pretty good time celebrating with them as well.

What a pleasure to be able to celebrate my precious Grandmiere...I love you!!!

all in a days work

the beach

home

After 17 days, 3 destinations, 6 planes rides, 2 rental cars and 6 hotels....WE ARE FINALLY ALL HOME!!! And oh my, does it ever feel good.

I forgot how much I loved my house.  I love my dust.  I love my own washing machine.  I love cooking in my kitchen.  I love sitting on my comfy couches.  I love driving my very own suburban.  I love having more than one room to hang out in as we did in our hotels. I love NOT having to live out of a suitcase.  I just love being home.

But we had so much fun!!!  Disney was a huge success for all, especially Cydney Claire.  Her favorite was probably Minnie Mouse, but when she picked her souvenir...she chose PIGLET!! The big kids favorite was probably Hollywood Studios.  There were big, fun, fast, and exciting rides there.

After several days of Disney, it was nice and relaxing to dip our toes in the water in Marco.  The beautiful tan that came along with that was definitely a plus for me.

Telling my boys good-bye brought tears.  (I am not good at good-byes!)  But the girls and I headed to Virginia for a busy week of Bluedevil basketball.  We didn't fair as well as we had like at the National Tournament, although they did very well.  They placed about 13th out of 34 very good ball teams.  I am super proud of those Texas Bluedevils.

Finally...we flew home with a quick overnight stay in Amarillo for a family reunion.  It is always good to see family that we don't see often.  Sure would have loved to have seen them longer.

But home never felt so good!!

here we go....

As we speak, we have hopped a Southwest bird for hot & sunny Florida.

The Kirkland Klan is on vacation with Mimi & Poppy and the Schroeder crew.

While away, we hope to meet up with Mickey and Minnie.

and a few other Disney characters for handshakes, hugs and autographs.

We even hope to see a princess or two for a quick photo.  Of course, we will be taking several princesses of our own on this trip.

You may know them as..........

Princess Cydney

Princess Calleigh and Princess Bailey

We will visit many kinds of animals at 

Then have some fun at 

Moms and Dads and Mimi and Poppy will need a break from all this fun, so we are headed to Marco Island Florida for the Florida Cattleman's Convention.

I plan to sit on this very beach and soak up some Florida rays. 

Bumming at the beach is my idea of a vacation.

But my kids LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this pool.
So here is where we will spend hours and hours.

Which is fine by me!!!

Here we will also visit many feedyard customers friends.  I am really looking forward to this.

Then Calleigh, Cydney and I (and the Schroeder crew) will put Mimi and all the boys on a plane home while we jet to 

Hampton, Virgina

for

you guessed it....

a basketball tournament!!!!

Bluedevils will play in the AAU National Tournament. 

We are so excited and hoping for a CHAMPIONSHIP!!

Follow us on Facebook for up to the minute updates.

I will try to keep this blog updated with pictures from all of our summer vacation adventures.

Just typing all this and internalizing what all is going on makes me TIRED!!!