distracted, discouraged & doubtful

I know I promised you weeks earlier that I was going to read Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.  I am keeping my promise, just not in a speedy fashion.  (One of my weaknesses is buying book after book and trying to read several books at one time.  I really don't recommend this...but I do it anyway.)

This week as I am reading Have a Mary Heart in a Martha World, I am once again convinced that the author, Joanna Weaver, somehow tapped in to my brain to write this book.  I am telling you, I could have written this book, except that I don't write books.  What I have realized always known is that I am not the only woman in the world that thinks and feels the way I do.  I just don't vocalize it.  God has given some women the gift of writing to help those of that don't. 

I know that satan uses busyness in our lives to keep us distracted from focusing on what God has for us.  I am the Queen of Busy!!  With work, basketball games and basketball practice for both kids, homework, church, and family...my life is consumed with busy!!  EVERYDAY!!!  And yes, I get distracted from what God has for me.  Believe me...if I stop and listen, He has a lot for me, but this is a whole other post!!!

Here is the vicious cycle of busyness.  Busyness creates distraction, which causes me to become overwhelmed with my situations and busyness, which cause me to become discouraged.  I can't see past the busyness to the light at the end of tunnel.  All I can see is the things in my day that are keeping me away from my home and place of refuge.  And yes, I get discouraged.  I would say that I get discouraged over busyness pretty easy.  I love being home!!  One might not could tell by "seeing" my life always on the go, but I do love home.  In fact, I often feel guilty for being blessed with such a beautiful home, and not spending more time there.  When I get discouraged, it is not good for anyone around me.  I get a little snippy.  Yes, I am sure, my family would say that it is just a little snippy.  I snip, and snip, and snip!!  Then I have a horribly guilty feeling for being such a, well, SNIPPY mom and wife!!  It is almost as if I am seeing life through an unclear lense, and everything is out of sorts.

Often times, when we become distracted and discouraged, we can begin to doubt.  We can doubt everything in our lives.   When things get so busy at work, I begin to doubt whether teaching is what God has truly called be to do.  When in reality, I do believe that that teaching is where I am supposed to be.  At least for the season in my life.

Slowing down to hear God's voice is what pulls us from this vicious cycle of distraction, discouragement, and doubt.  Through God's voice we begin to see clearly the calling God has placed on our life.  We begin to shift our focus back on Him and less on the things that are taking us away from Him.  Wishing you blessings this week and we all slow down and see the goodness the Lord has provided for us.  I don't know about you...but, I am so blessed!!

Have a blessed day!!

i want more

As I sat in my living room this evening with a few quiet moments to myself, I decided to delve into a book our pastor has been referencing...Having a Mary Spirit. Well, actually, I just realized, our pastor has been referencing Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. An...y...way....I have had the book for years, covered under papers and who knows what, in my night stand drawer. Over the past week, it has been calling me...you know the lingering voice that will not quiet.

As I begin reading the first lines of the first chapter, I had to look to see if I have authored this book and didn't even realize it.

I have always dreamed of being so much more.

More organized, more disciplined, more loving...

This sounds exactly like something I would say write.

Each year I set these goals, only for them to fade...well, very quickly. I desire to be so much more...a more patient & loving mom, a more challenging & encouraging teacher, a friend that is always there for her girls, a wife that has it all together inside the house & outside the house. I want more. I want more intimacy with the Lord.

The first week begins...I have my planner organized, each child with their own color to distinguish their activities, the menu is planned, the coupons are clipped, the house cleaner has our house in tip-top shape...then life happens!! On Monday we have this, Tuesdays are that, Wednesday, Thursdays & Fridays. The weekends are full of all kinds of activities too! Before I know it, the new goals have gone to the way side and I have shifted back into survival mode, trying to keep my head above water. As the busyness creeps in, I lose that lovin' feeling and every aspect of my life becomes STRESSED!!!

I live in Martha's world. I totally relate to Martha. I AM a Martha. Rather than sitting at the feet of Jesus and being intimate with the Father, I am running circles here and there.

I am so caught up in service for Him that I have missed out on the joy of intimacy with Him.

OUCH!! That was my toes!!

You see, when I fail to have intimate time with my Father, I become stressed with all the busyness in my life. As the mother of this household, when I become stressed, many things begin to crumble. The saying is true "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." So...my intimacy with my Father not only affects my well being, but the well being of the MANY people around me.


So, after reading the first section of the book, I have realized I am in the second book, rather than the first. I am going to journey back to Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. I am so excited to begin this journey of "Developing a Mary Heart." I hope that you will join me. I would love your comments and thoughts throughout the journey.

Until next time...be blessed