time

Last night as I crawled into bed, I noticed a Carebridge update from a lady I am following.  Most of the people on Carebridge are terminally ill, usually cancer.  I honestly don't know why I follow them because their stories break my heart.  Their stories have a impact to someone in my life, even if not directly connected to me.

As I was reading her update, she talked about the value of TIME in her life.  For her entire grown up life, she has taken time for granted.  But, her doctors have told her that 2-5 years would be a miracle for her.  Her life has been put into a new TIME perspective.

I laid in my bed sobbing.  I was hoping Robby couldn't hear my sniffles as he was drifting off to sleep.  She is teacher, she is a mom with young "threads," she has an amazing husband that she wants to spend  forever with.  JUST LIKE ME!!!

It really made me think about TIME.  We never know how much of we have left?  What do I do with my time?  Often times we fill every moment of our time with something.  We want to make sure our kids "experience" all of life.  We (as a family) don't want to miss a thing.

What if TIME changed for me?  What if TIME changed for you?  Are you content or satisfied with how your days are spent?  What would you do differently?  What would change?

I would focus less on making sure all the "chores" were finished and spend more TIME with my kids.  Thinking back to yesterday...Carson asked me to listen to his UIL Oral Reading story.  I remembered when he was already tucked in his bed, sound asleep.  Didn't get done.  I was more intently focused on  us cleaning out the car, wiping down windows, scrubbing the carpets because the car was driving me crazy!!!  I know for a fact I missed an opportunity to rock Cydney.

Quit honestly, there are things I so desperately want to change involving how we spend our time, but I just can't make the change happen.  I don't know how.  It all goes back to...we don't want to miss a thing.

TIME could change in the blink of an eye.

mom challenge

Saturday we had Cydney's birthday party and before the party could get here I found my self frazzled, grumpy and ready to bite my children's head off.  Really, I did bite their heads off!!!  I had to ask over and over to get things done, and I had had it!!  As I ask forgiveness from them that evening, it left me feeling like a terrible mom.  I knew something had to change...and soon!!!

For one, I will not ask more than once to get something done.  After that, they will suffer the consequences.  I sat them down last night and explained my expectations and consequences to them.  Let's hope they were listening.  If not, it could be some miserable last days for the Kirkland Kids.  It would totally stink to spend the rest of the summer in their rooms contemplating their behaviors.

But I knew my heart needed softening too...In the mean time, I found this 30 day Mom Challenge.  Maybe this was God's way of giving me one thing to work on everyday to improve my own actions towards my children. What better day to start than TODAY...the first of the month.

I love that it says "Mom's Ultimate To-Do List."  I get to caught up in life and all that I having going, that I often forget they are my top priority, my greatest job, and biggest blessing.

I made a copy to hang on my fridge to remind me my big job... 24/7, 365 days a year.

Hopefully, I will blog about my experiences as I work through this challenge.  If this is something you would like to join me in, please leave us comment and we can keep each other accountable.

You are a super mom!!!

growing up

There is probably nothing in life that creates such mixed emotions as my children growing up.  I love each new stage they enter.  I love how the mother-child relationship changes through each new stage of childhood.  I love that my children take on a new level of independence and responsibility.  I love most that their hearts begin to mature and in tender moments their sweetness comes pouring through.

One of these such moments happened last night.  The son of one of our of dear family friends fell last night on his rip stick and broke his arm terribly.  When Calleigh came home from practicing basketball at the gym, she sent a text to all of friends that made my mother heart smile and tears come to my eyes.
     
     "Please pray for Tate.  He was doing something and broke his arm. Will possible have surgrey.  We are pray for fast recovery and healing.  Please pray!!"

Through the misspelling and missing words, the meaning came through loud and clear.  It touched my heart that she would call her friends to pray for their friend.  She is growing up and maturing.

Over the last months she has been asking if she could start shaving her legs.  In my mind, I had a clear cut time frame for these things to happen.  Fifth grade wasn't really what I had planned.  But, I also hadn't planned on her being so mature and grown up in fifth grade either.  I tried to blow if off and put her off at first.  That only lasted a little while.  She was persistent.  Hairy legs "embarrass" her.

I gave in.  As I sat on the bathtub this week showing her how to shave her legs, I had a smile on my face, but an ache in my heart as I realized another sign of her growing up.  As much as I love the young lady that she is becoming...I HATE IT!!!

I was doing some cleaning last night and came across a picture we took on our cruise just last summer.  I couldn't believe how much she has changed in a few short months.  She is losing her little girl looks and changing into a beautiful young lady...inside and out.

Treasure the moments with your babes...they will be gone much to soon!!!

Be blessed,

ordinary days

For the past few months, I have been thinking how I needed to get back to blogging, but just simply didn't sit down long enough to do it, or I really didn't feel I had anything to say.  Mostly because nothing really exciting goes on in our day to day lives.  Nothing many others would surely care much about anyway.  But, this week I watched a YouTube video about ordinary days, and realized I should be so grateful for ordinary days of cereal for breakfast, uneventful school days, kids not wanting to do homework, chores, cooking dinner, baths, and finally tucking them all in bed before I fall into bed myself.




So, as I woke this morning, I try to appreciate the gift of an ordinary day.  It may be wild, crazy, and try my patience from beginning to end.  But I love being the mom of this crazy crew!!!

For now, I will try to do better to share our ordinary days.  Blessings!!!

favorite mom moments

Being a mother is truly one of the greatest jobs in the world.  Sometimes I wish all the distractions of the world would pass away, if for only a moment, so I could just sit and enjoy my kids for a little longer.  Not worrying about dinner, the laundry, the phone ringing, going here...you get the idea.

Unfortunately, that is not going to happen.  All the things going on in the world make time fly and my children seem to grow up in a flash.

This Mother’s Day, I wanted to stop and think of some of my favorite mom moments.

One of my absolute favorites is when Cydney wakes in the morning.  Her hair is standing on end from a serious case of bed head.  All she desires in life at that moment is a glass of milk and to rock with me.  I love rocking her.  I love the smell of holding her close while she is so snugly.  

While I am snuggling Cydney, the other two are usually on the couch watching cartoons.  I love just watching them....they are such cute kids.

I love the cards and gifts that my kids give me.  The look of anticipation and excitement as they can’t wait a second longer to give me the gift.  They are so proud. It makes my heart melt for them as I see their sweet hearts.

I love when my kids want to help in the kitchen.  It doesn’t happen very often because they are usually busy doing their own thing.  It can get pretty messy when they want to help, but it is always full of laughs and yummy food.

Although I hate that Calleigh is growing up so quickly, I love the times that we go to town together for pedicures and some girl time.  She is such a great companion.  I love the time that it gives us to forget about the world and just spend time with each other.  Even though we are spending daddy's hard earned money....oops!!

**Speaking of growing up to quickly...this week I bought her new tennis shoes.  She wears half a size smaller than me...geeezz!!!

Carson is such a funny kid.  He is always trying to "trick" me with this or that.  That sweet and innocent smile as he giggles is just to die for.

With our crazy lives, it is rare that we are home on a weekend evening with nothing to do.  But occasionally, we are able to have a family night with popcorn and a movie on the living room floor.  Fun times!!!!  Sometimes we get through the popcorn and never make it to the movie...hehehe!!!

Another of my very favorite things in the whole world as a mother is for all five of us to snuggle in my bed on a Saturday or Sunday morning.  Robby works early most every morning, so this is a real treat for our family.  

The longer I lay here, the more fun things I think of.  I am so blessed.  I am so thankful that God chose me to be the mother of these three kids.  They are amazing!!!

Happy Mother's Day...may all your mom moments be memorable!!

happy mother's day

As I think about Mother's Day this, I think of all the wonderful women in my life that have "mothered" me along this journey of life.  I have learned so many valuable mother lessons from them.  I am so grateful for these mothers.  For these women have made me who I am today.  One of these being my very own earthly mother.  

Mom, I know it wasn't always easy being my mom, but you (and dad) did a great job.  You had very high expectations for us, and those expectations helped me become the independent woman that I am today.  You showed me the value of hard work and working towards the things important to me. I take so many valuable lessons away from my own childhood. Mom, I love you!!!

Another important mother in my life is my mother-in-law. A true servants heart. You go above and beyond for others and you have shown how huge your heart is. You have such a gracious and giving heart. I love you!!

I am such a lucky girl to have both of my mothers just blocks away from me. They are both invaluable to me. They babysit on a moments notice, they help shuttle kids, they welcome our kids into their home, and they are always there for us. We are so blessed to have such amazing moms!!!

I am so thankful for my blogging moms and my real life mom friends who walk the daily trenches of motherhood.  I value your advice, your encouragement, and your shoulder to cry on when I need it.  You are all precious angels to me.  God knew we would need each other along the way.

Above all the things I do in this world, being a mother is by far the most rewarding job that I have. It is the hardest work, but has the greatest rewards.  Kids, I love you guys so incredibly much.  I am so thankful that God entrusted you to me and your dad for your time here on earth.  You are such a blessing to us each and every day.  I love being your mom!!!!  I love you!!!

dear kids,

I don’t know if you noticed that our house cleaner came yesterday and our house really looks quit nice.  I was thinking how nice it would be if our house could stay picked up and looking nice and neat...not perfect, just picked up.  No clothes on the floor, no shoes left lying around, towels taken back to the bathroom after your shower.  

It would also probably be helpful if your homework folder weren’t laying on my bedroom floor.  You are probably going to need that homework folder in the morning, and you are going to wonder where it is.  Panic may even strike when you realize that you can’t find it.  That would be so sad.  I hate it when I feel panicked.  Not a good feeling at all.

I know that with the weather warming up it makes you want to play outside.  If you wanted a little more playtime I thought you might be interested in knowing helping to clean as you go would result in more playtime in the afternoons.  I know it isn’t asking much, but every little bit helps.  It also helps mommy’s attitude when she isn’t frazzled over things like this.  I know you would like to change that.  

Just thought I would ask.....

Love, Mom

breathing treatments, steroids, & antibiotics

I am certainly not feeling like Mother of the Year this morning.  Although she was bouncing around and seemed happy, Cydney seemed to be wheezing a bit when I put her to bed on Wednesday evening.  I wasn't sure if it was junk in her throat, or something had really settled in her lungs.  Thursday morning she sounded much worse so I decided to take her to our pediatrician.

The Dr. was quick to tell me that she was, in fact, wheezing very badly.  She immediately suspected RSV and ran a nasal swab.  NEGATIVE!!  Whew...I am thinking this is a good sign.  Actually, not this time.  She told me she wanted it to be RSV because then she would know what was the cause of this wheezing.  She was puzzled how she got so bad so quickly.  Another type of virus or ASTHMA???

Either way the treatment plan is the same...breathing treatments.  Before we could leave the office we had to have a breathing treatment and a steroid shot.  She also sent us home on breathing treatments, steroids, and an antibiotic because she was running a slight fever.

Neither Robby or I got much sleep last night between breathing treatments every 3 hours or Cydney in our bed flopping around like a fish because she couldn't sleep well.  But we made it through and she seems to be doing much better this morning.  She is one tough little girl...when she is sick she still strolls around with a precious little smile on her face.  I love that!!!  She is spending the day with her Mimi.  What more could a sick girl want than to be loved on by her Mimi all day?

Robby and I have extremely healthy kids.  We have a few minor bumps in the road every now and then when it comes to health, but nothing major.  We are standing on God's promises of healing and health for Cydney.  She will not have asthma and this is nothing more than a bump in the road.  Please join us in praying for health.  

Blessings,

is there an easy way

Our hearts feel strongly about teaching our children how precious they are in the sight of God, and properly teaching them about their bodies.  I so desire for my children to remain pure until they are married to their spouse.  But, I am scared to death by the amount of information that kids hear in the world, what they read on billboards, and see on TV.  It is quit frightening.

As much as I desire for my children to know this information, I know there is a time that they are "ready" for it emotionally and spiritually.  And believe me, I don't want to rush the moment at all.  For goodness sakes, Calleigh still believes in Santa Clause.  Not many fourth graders still do.  And yet, I know that her body is going to begin changing soon and I need to prepare myself for explaining to her why this is happening.  Actually it already is, and it makes my want to cry.  I am not ready for my baby to grow up.  It really isn't that I don't want to "have the talk" with her, it's that I don't want to acknowledge that she is old enough to "have the talk" with.  Ugh...how did time slip away so quickly?

In our effort to educate her before the world educates her, I want to do it gently.  I don't want to embarrass her so that she won't want to "talk" with me as she becomes older.  I want the timing to be pristine.  I certainly don't want to rush it, or wait to long.  So much to think about!!

I have purchased a few books, but either haven't started reading them yet, or they haven't come in.  I know there will be so many varying ideas on what to teach them, when to teach them, and so forth.  I truly don't know if I will get my answer, but I am certainly going to try.

With that being said, I would appreciate any input any of you have regarding this situation.  Maybe you have already gone through this experience with your children or daughter and want to share your expertise.  Maybe you have been reading about how to give "the talk" with your child and you want to share with me what you learned.  Maybe you have just begun thinking about this as we have, and we can struggle through it together.  Whatever the case may be...I am eager to hear from you.

Thank you for listening...be blessed!!!

coincidence?

Last night Robby and I had an opportunity to go to town to run a few quick errands without out kids...well the big kids anyway.  As this almost never happens, it was quite nice to have him all almost to myself.  I will take it when I can get it.

As we were driving we began talking about his men's group that meets on Monday mornings.  They are doing a study called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.  I am not even involved in the study, but it has been an eye opening experience for us both.  I love it when he shares what they are reading and discussing.  Honestly, it makes me want to put my children in our home where I can protect them from the outside world that is so cruel immerse them in good teaching to learn God's purpose for their life.

Ironically, through two very different experiences, God pressed on Robby's and I hearts the rules that we have and will have for our children while in our home.  My experience developed as I was discussing with my 8th grade English class what rules their own parents established for their homes. (We are beginning to read Cheaper by the Dozen.)  Robby's developed through his men's group.

As a result, we were able to discuss some of the rules that are implied in our home, but not sure if they are really enforced every time as they should be, or given appropriate consequences when not followed.  We decided, as was mentioned in Robby's book, that all rules for our children/home should be written down. This allows no gray area for either the parent or the child.  For parents, this provides a means of decision making.  "Our family rules say..., therefore it looks as if the decision is made."  For the child it is a means of knowing exactly what parents expect.  If they choose to cross the line, they will then know there are consequences that will have to be made.

Robby and I agreed that we would need to have a family meeting to establish the rules for our family.  We will then right them down and put them in our Household Binder (that is slowly coming together.)

What rules do you have for your family?  What means of communicating these rules do you use?

Be blessed!

let me be myself

This past week I attended the funeral of a young man that grew up in our small town.  He had graduated from high school and gone on to the Air Force.  In his 21 short years of life, he made a huge impact on the people he worked with, friends he had, and even those of us many years older. 

A song played at his funeral made me stop and think about about my children and my parenting of my children.  The song was titled "Let Me Be Myself" sung by Three Doors Down.

Please would you one time

Just let me be myself

So I can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

I'll never find my heart

Behind someone else

Of course these are not the lyrics in complete, but these are these are the words that made me stop for a moment...

I don't claim to have all the RIGHT answers to parenting or being the best mom.  I do admit that while it is my heart's desire to try to raise responsible children in a fun, safe, and loving home, I often fail at many of the ideals I try to instill in my children. 

One of the things that is so hard for me is to let my children fail.  I KNOW in my heart that valuable lessons are learned when we are least successful.  But, letting my children fail is so terribly hard for me.  To make up for this, I poke and prod, and nudge (some would refer to this as nagging) too much.

     Is your reading finished? Have you fed the animals? Is your room clean? Is it clean like I expect it to be clean?  Have you finished your homework?  Can I give you a few tips on reading your poem?  Great game today, but let's work on ___.  The list could go on.....

Where does all this poking, prodding, and nudging get us???  Frustrated, aggrevated & mad!!! 

God created my children very differently, with different strengths, attitudes, interests, and motivations. I am so thankful for this because it is in each of these things that my children are unique and creates the traits that I love about them. 

Calleigh is my social butterfly.  She loves school, she loves basketball, she loves everything...for the social aspect of it.  She doesn't seem super motivated for lots of things outside of her social life.  Let me rephrase that...she doesn't seem as motivated as I would like her to be in many of her activites.  She is super smart and super talented.  She is beautfil and a very sweet girl.

Carson is my sports fanatic.  He talks, eats, breathes, and sleeps sports.  He know football like you can't imagine an 8 year old would know.  He and his dad talk this other "sports" language that I just sit back and giggle about...mainly because I don't have a clue.  He is pretty athletic too!!  He is pleaser.  He wants everyone to be happy and safe.

Cydney...her personality is just beginning to peak.  We are super excited to see her unique characteristics begin to develop.  Will she be athletic like the other two?  Will she love to read like her mom?  Will she be calm and laid back like her dad, or high strung like her mom?  Will she have a tender heart like Carson, or strong willed and independent like Calleigh?  Time will tell!!!

What I take away from this song is that I must allow my children to be the people that God has created them to be, not whom I want them to be.  It is so hard to measure up to something or someone that your are not.  They may not meet my every expectation, but they will flourish being the person that God has called them.  I don't want to dim the light that God has sparked in their lives. They will be able to reach a world that I will not being just who God called them. 

I will try to take a step back and let them be themselves.