the big picture

Two weeks ago today, a great kid from Vega High suffered a life changing injury.  An injury that may never allow him to walk again, to use his arms again, to experience life as he knew it again.  Life as we  all know it for that matter.

Yesterday, after two really hard weeks, he flew to California with his mom for intensive rehab.  Although my heart is rejoicing that he is going to rehab, by heart is aching at the separation of his family.  I can't even imagine the heart ache of putting my child on a plane to go a thousand miles away.  Not being there for every crucial moment of recovery.  This makes my heart ache.  Ache to the point of crying big tears for them. {This would be very ugly.}

As the two weeks have passed, I caught my self asking God what his plan was for Luis.  How does this fit into His plan?  Why do such horrible things HAVE TO HAPPEN??  Sometimes, I just don't get the big picture.  But over and over and over and over, God reminded me that He has a plan for Luis.  And this is part of His plan.  {I will never leave you or forsake you. Hebrews 13:5}

I want to see the big picture.  I want to see how the story ends.  I am impatient and don't want to wait for the long recovery.  I want to know it's all going to be ok.

I think...we don't see the big picture because if we automatically see the end, the big picture, we wouldn't run into His arms, and fall on our knees, and cry out to him to heal our friend.  If we immediately saw how the story ended, we wouldn't learn to lean upon Him for strength and peace and comfort.  So we wait...

Father, I know this IS part of your plan.  Thank you for having a plan for each one of us.  Show us your glory in these weeks and months in Luis's recovery and all the life situations we encounter on a daily basis.  Remind me daily Father to fall at your feet and lean upon your understanding.

Be blessed...

rain

Last night our dry and thirsty land finally got a drink!!  Thank you Lord!!!

Who knew rain could be so much fun!!!

another year

It's funny how I have a hard time remembering details of last month, last week, or even yesterday for that matter.  But then there are moments that are etched on my heart.  So defining, it is as if the moment just happened.

Three years ago today, our precious baby girl made her grand appearance into this world.  A day that is forever etched on my heart...as with the birth of my other two kids.  (It funny how I can see it so clearly.)

It was our annual family trip to Wonderland.  Let me hear a WOOHOO!!!  I had an OB appointment, so I went in around lunch to the dr., was going to pre-register at the hospital, run errands, and meet the family for supper and a night of fun!!

I remember...

...being excited because this was the first OB appointment Dr. Carrillo would check if I had dilated.

...being disappointed when Dr. Carrillo was out of town and only the nurse would see me.  She wasn't even going to check me because I was still about 4 weeks from delivery.  I had been having contractions for about a month (since we walked 4,000 miles in Pittsburg and New York City...not one of my smarter decisions!)  But she did!!

...the shock as she said "You wanted to have a baby today!!  You're dilated to a 5!!"

...thinking Robby is working, we are going to Wonderland, my suitcase isn't even finished packing.  I have pre-registered at the hospital.

TODAY??  REALLY??

The nurse wouldn't let me move until she had called the hospital to tell them I was coming.  She made me feel like a ticking time bomb!!

...calling Robby while he was having lunch at his mom's.  I told him the news.  Part of me was so excited, yet nervous and scared...all in a moment.

...trying to coach my mom via the phone how to finish packing my bags and what to bring to the hospital.  Robby was just coming...nothing in hand but my pillows!!

...the nurse telling me to drive straight to the hospital.  The nurses were waiting my arrival.  Sounds so glamorous...not really!!

...the hospital was packed with mom's having babies or had just had a baby.  There were no rooms in the inn.  They had to just stick me in a triage room and wait, and wait, and wait!!!

Because Dr. Carrillo was out of town, I was in the hands of the doctor on call.  The first one didn't want any part of delivering me because Cydney was almost 4 weeks pre-term.  When he told us of all the problems that could occur with a baby that early, it sure didn't ease our nerves at all.  But still, I was dilated to a 5. (One thing I failed to mention is that with my other two babes, I delivered both in 30 minutes or less of pushing.  Yeah, I know.  I just lost some of you right there!  Life isn't fair sometimes.  I am sorry some of you had to push for days!!)

Thankfully Dr. Carrasco came to our rescue and realized I could not go home.  They admitted me, moved me to a room, gave me an epidural (which didn't work), broke my water, and we had a baby.

I remember...

...feeling horrible during delivery.  Childbirth hurts without epidurals.  I was throwing up.  Not comparable to the cake walk of my other two.

...the moment she was born, it all went away.

...the first time I saw Dr. Carrasco hold her up.  Oh my, she was so tiny.  She only weighed 5 pounds 10 ounces.  It was almost as if she was a baby doll.

I am so thankful for the that precious blessing.  She brings us so much joy everyday.  She is pretty darn cute too!!

Today, we celebrated her birthday with just us.  Three year well check at the pediatrician.  You will be happy to know she has come a LONG way since 5 pounds, 10 ounces.  She has made up for it!!  Calleigh bought her a princess sash...that she won't wear.  Tomorrow is the birthday party.  She is so excited!!  We were walking tonight at a friend's birthday party, and she told me "I just want a birthday party."  Awww!!

Tonight as she climbed into my bed, she hollered at her dad.  "Dad, I love you!!"  He replied with I love you too Cydney.  About a minute later..."Dad, I still love you!!"

It's the little things that make the world go round.  Happy birthday Cydney Claire.  We love you dearly!!

Dad, Mom, Calleigh & Carson

my new love

This week I discovered a new addiction love thanks to Darby!!! (My family is so grateful to you!)  It's crazy.  I don't even know why I love it so much, but I do.  I have spent hours and hours playing, and looking, and searching, and drooling, and wishing I was creative and rich so I could do, do, do!!

Ok, ok...I have kept you waiting long enough.  It's this new (at least to me) website that is an online bulletin board.  There is EVERYTHING!!  I originally thought is was so cool for my classroom, but the possibilities are endless.



You have just gotta visit.  If you have an i-phone, they have an app for that (imagine that, right!)

If you like it and want to see what I have "pinned" here is a link to my bulletin board.
http://pinterest.com/amykirkland/pins/

So cool!!  I absolutely love it!!!

Happy pinning!!!

that's my boy

Doesn't mind being dirty filthy

Hates lotion

Can't Doesn't care if his clothes match

Could care less if his clothes are clean or dirty

Keeps a messy room

Likes weird things like guns and football (I mean who would want to be purposely hit and tackled?)

Can't multi-task

Hates chores around the house, but

Loves his friends and playtimes

He makes me one happy momma

simply relaxing

Who would have ever imagined that a pillow and laundry basket in the middle of the kitchen would keep this two year old entertained for such a long period of time.

Maybe she just needed a break from the busy week and this was the closest place she could find.

Anyway you slice it...just simply relaxing.  Every girl needs a moment like this every once in a while.

better than brownies

batter that is.  

nothing that my family likes more

than to lick the spoon (or the bowl)

yummy!!!

summer week 1

It's been a week.  Thankfully it has been summertime and work was one thing I didn't have to worry about this week.  To start our summer, we have had round 2 of Fifths Disease, 2 sessions of basketball camp, 2 rounds of the stomach bug, more than two trips back and forth to basketball camp, football camp, 2 rounds of company staying at our house (one of which I was a horrible hostess because I had the stomach bug) and a birthday party.  Whew!!!  That is definitely a week full.  Thank goodness it is vacation time because I am not sure I could have handled one more thing this week.  We should all be healthy now, camps are almost over, so....LET THE SUMMER BEGIN!!!!

summer top 10

It's here...summertime.  I absolutely love summer.  Not because it means I don't have to get up and go to work, but because I don't have to go to work.  I know that makes absolutely no sense, but it just seems as if life slows down for a brief amount of time.  I love every moment of it.

10.  I love that my yard is usually full of kids playing in the water or doing something fun.  This is one of the greatest things of living in a small town...the kids can go play pretty much anywhere on our side of town and I don't really worry about where they are, who they are with, or what they are doing.

9. I love spending afternoons at the pool.  It makes for a very tired momma and babes, but the time is so worth it.  For as long as I can remember, my two older babes were little fish.  They always loved being in the water.  And could play in for hours on end.  Cydney hasn't taken to water as quickly as the older two, but after today at the pool I have high hopes we will get there.

8.  I love feeling like I have accomplished something during a day.  My house is usually not always clean, but the kids and I do get chores accomplished and it feels good.

7.  Coffee in the old blue rocking chair.  I am sure I have posted before how I love having coffee in our blue recliner.  Robby and I bought it when we first married...16 years ago.  It has rocked all my babies and provided many a good nap for all members of the family.  I love climbing in it first thing of a morning and rocking while enjoying a cup of coffee.

6. Sleeping In.  I am a huge fan of sleeping in (and then moving to the rocking chair).  Thankfully my kids are sleepers too and we do enjoy late mornings through the summer.  Sleeping in actually makes me feel really lazy!!!

5. House cleaning and organizing.  No, I don't love the actual process of cleaning my house, but the end product when it all looks nice, neat, and freshly organized is such a wonderful feeling.  It makes me feel like I have really accomplished something!!

4.  Cookouts & hanging out on our patio.  I love, love, love sitting on our back porch of an evening and watching the kids play in the yard.  We have a huge yard that is great for water games, football games, or just about whatever games the kids want to play.  The evenings have been so windy lately (and don't look promising in the next week), but I still love back porch time.

3.  Staying up late.  My true ME is a night owl.  If I could choose, I would stay up late and sleep in, but that rarely happens because of work.  In the summer, I do enjoy staying up late of an evening.  It is one of the few quiet moments in my day.  Robby and the kids are sleeping while I get a few things accomplished...catch up here on my blog, read a book, watch Grey's Anatomy from many weeks past, or just whatever I choose.

2. Vacation time...As much as I love being home (because we really aren't home all that much during the school year), I do love traveling and going on vacations with my family.  It's always a fun time for our family to spend time together.  This summer we will be traveling to Disney World in Orlando, then on to Marco Island for Florida Cattleman's Convention.  Calleigh, Cydney and I will go straight to Hampton, VA for the AAU National Tourney while the boys fly home.  They we will all meet back at a family reunion.  All in all...the us girls will spend 18 nights away from home IN A ROW!!!  I have never been gone this long in my life. It scares me a little!!

The number one thing I love about summer is just being able to hang out with my kids.  Things are more relaxed and we can just chill and have fun!!!

Hope your summer is amazing!!!  Be blessed..

looking for beetles

On most days she is my girly girl.

But even in her dress, flip-flops, bow and...

a sucker.  She looks for beetles!!

a little reminder

Just laying around as a subtle reminder of the jobs that didn't get finished during Spring Break.  Reminding me, I should must go through their drawers.  I keep telling myself I am not buying a thing for summer until we have gone through and cleaned out old clothes.  But, I don't want to!!  My kids hate it!!  It would be such a relief to get this reminder off my kitchen counter.  Oh no, then I will never get it done.  On the counter-top it must stay until the job is done.

just a walk

There are many days that I don't blog, for I feel I simply have nothing to blog about.  But, just a short walk through the yard with my camera and many things caught my eye to share.  It's amazing what lies just beyond my eyes that remind of life as it was just a short time ago and how it can change in such a quick time.

Beyond the swing set, beyond the trees, lying against the fence are Carson's old Tonka trucks.  Unused, but well loved.  Tossed aside because he is much older now.  He rides bikes, plays football and basketball, build forts, and many other things.  But digging with Tonka trucks is not on his list of activities anymore.

It really wasn't all that many years ago that he was a cotton top little boy that spent hours digging in his sandbox with his trucks.  But things change.  Time flies.

It was just a walk through the yard, yet it brought so many memories of where we've been and how far we have come.

almost

Spring has begun creeping into the Texas Panhandle.

  The days are becoming warmer.  The wind seems to blow endlessly.  Tiny blooms are beginning to show their heads on our trees.

New blades of green grass are poking through last years dead grass.  It will soon be a soft cushion for many small feet throughout the summer.

My old, ragged goat cart will soon be full of beautiful geraniums.

Oh, how I love the first signs of spring.  A sure sign that summer vacation is almost here.

if you really knew me

If you really knew me...

...you would know that I struggle with trying to be someone that I really am not.  I want my house to be clean all the time.  Realistically, we are a family of 5 that live in most every corner of our home.  I have to remind myself there will be a day when I wish there was a shoe in the middle of the living room floor, or breakfast left on the island.  I wish my closet were full of clothes that show perfect cuteness.  Realistically, I love wearing t-shirts and jeans, and I can't afford to dress the way I would desire, but am thankfully for my husband that keeps our budget on track (as best he can).  I hate it when he quotes Dave Ramsey "If you live like no one else, later you can live like no one else." Problem is, I am not a very good listener.

...you know my expectations for myself and others are extremely high and often unrealistic.  These unrealistic expectations cause tension when things don't measure up quit like I expect them to. They cause me to become frustrated and angry.  I say things I have to apologize for later, or I just don't say them and pout!!  (Wonder where my kids get it from?)

...you would know I have a passion for seeing my students be successful, but often get bogged down and stressed out with all the things that teaching involves.

...you probably know that I think my husband is the greatest thing in all of the world.  He would not give up on me when we were dating even though I tried on numerous occasions to push him away.  He loves me unconditionally, and he tells me!!!  He is the best part of my day.  He can cure any heartache or stressful day.  He is AMAZING!!!

If you really knew me...

...you know I can't say NO!!  Sometimes I hate it because I do things half-heartedly and wonder why I signed up for this.

...you know that one of my greatest fears in life is losing one of my children.  My kids make my world go 'round.  I hope they know it even in the moments I don't show it.

...you realize that patience is not a virtue that I was blessed with.  I become cranky and irritable when life gets off my timetable and plans don't fall as I had planned they would.

...you might know that one of my greatest desires is to be so efficiently organized.  I would have all of our things in a clearly labeled box, stacked neatly in its perfect home.  There would be no question for my children or husband to know where it is or where it goes.  Then I think of the enormous cost of all of the boxes, and my plan falls apart quickly.  (If you saw the looks of my desk this very moment, you would not think there was an organized bone in my body.)

If you really knew me...
...you would know that I am forever grateful for this life that I have.  I am incredibly thankful to be a chosen daughter of the King.  I wouldn't change a thing about this life (well, maybe 1 or 2 things!)

Be blessed!!                                    

nap time

It's a good part of her day.  It's an important part of our day, very important. So important that it can determine the remainder of our day.

I love the quiet moments.  I love holding her close as she sleeps...although I don't get to do that much.

I love the peacefulness of a sleeping child.  I love the smell of a newly awoken little girl.  There is something unbelievably beautiful about this face.

I love that nap time is part of our ordinary day.