fearful

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

Wednesday evening Calleigh began running a low grade fever.  Nothing to worry you say!!  The Swine Flu has oinked its way into our school and has a fierce hold.  Quit scary at the number of kids that have become ill.  So far the symptoms we are seeing are low grade fever, headache, body aches, oh yeah...and throwing up!! My sweet little niece, Bailey, has been one sick little girl for 7 days now.  Not to mention many of my students.  I sent one home as I type.

When Calleigh began running the fever I did honestly think, here we go.  A little fever did not put a damper on her sense of humor (I am not sure she even realized how funny I thought this was.) Out of the mouths of babes...Robby went to tuck Calleigh in and kiss her goodnight as he always does.  He put his hand on her forehead and was praying for her to feel better.  Part of his prayer..."In the Name of Jesus, Calleigh will be healthy."  Calleigh's response..."In the Name of Jesus, will you please take your hand off my forehead."  Oh Calleigh!!!

Calleigh did wake with a fever on Thursday morning...still low grade.  And actually, she was feeling very well.  Not like most sick children.  My dreams of staying home with a sick child include hours and hours of sitting in the recliner rocking and snuggling because they want their mommy close.  Sick days are when they need their mommy to care for them and hold them....not so much!!!

Out of fear (I am confessing it!), I did not even offer to rock and hold Calleigh on this morning.  As if she had wanted me to rock her...she was busy playing on the computer. Rather, I was bleaching every possible surface in our household, washing all "germy" laundry, and intoxicating myself in a fog of Lysol.  Yes, (I am confessing again!) that I was fearful that Swine Flu had invade our home.  So, no time for soothing and cuddling...germs must go.

Thankfully, Calleigh just had strep throat.  No little pigs at our house!! She did have somewhat of a sinking spell that scared me a bit after our grocery store visit to replenish my stock of bleach, Lysol, vitamins, Tylenol, and Motrin.  However, a dose of Tylenol and antibiotics and she was bouncing around again.  Thank you Lord!!

I am confessing, I am fearful still.  Why is this so hard for me??  I have seen so many kids this week start with strep and a few days later...it's the FLU.  Why is it so hard for me to totally trust that God will protect my family.  Why can't I claim His power for the well being of my children?  I know that He can do it, but my mind wanders back to the what ifs.  ARRGGHHH...I hate this!!  Forgive me Lord for my weakness in showing lack of faith and being fearful.  Thank you for your grace in my weaknesses.

Have a blessed weekend...



PS...Wonder what my students think of the swine flu?  Head over here and check out their thoughts.  But before you do, let me warn you that they do know proper grammar, captalization & punctuation...just choose not to use it!!  I can only battle one thing at a time, and right now it is swine flu.