Wednesday, January 13, 2010

is there an easy way

Our hearts feel strongly about teaching our children how precious they are in the sight of God, and properly teaching them about their bodies.  I so desire for my children to remain pure until they are married to their spouse.  But, I am scared to death by the amount of information that kids hear in the world, what they read on billboards, and see on TV.  It is quit frightening.

As much as I desire for my children to know this information, I know there is a time that they are "ready" for it emotionally and spiritually.  And believe me, I don't want to rush the moment at all.  For goodness sakes, Calleigh still believes in Santa Clause.  Not many fourth graders still do.  And yet, I know that her body is going to begin changing soon and I need to prepare myself for explaining to her why this is happening.  Actually it already is, and it makes my want to cry.  I am not ready for my baby to grow up.  It really isn't that I don't want to "have the talk" with her, it's that I don't want to acknowledge that she is old enough to "have the talk" with.  Ugh...how did time slip away so quickly?

In our effort to educate her before the world educates her, I want to do it gently.  I don't want to embarrass her so that she won't want to "talk" with me as she becomes older.  I want the timing to be pristine.  I certainly don't want to rush it, or wait to long.  So much to think about!!

I have purchased a few books, but either haven't started reading them yet, or they haven't come in.  I know there will be so many varying ideas on what to teach them, when to teach them, and so forth.  I truly don't know if I will get my answer, but I am certainly going to try.

With that being said, I would appreciate any input any of you have regarding this situation.  Maybe you have already gone through this experience with your children or daughter and want to share your expertise.  Maybe you have been reading about how to give "the talk" with your child and you want to share with me what you learned.  Maybe you have just begun thinking about this as we have, and we can struggle through it together.  Whatever the case may be...I am eager to hear from you.

Thank you for listening...be blessed!!!

7 comments:

Stacey said...

This is something that has been at the back of my mind. The world is so scary and sadly, I'm sure my oldest (also 10) has heard far too much from friends already. We have had a few discussions, much of which was started by younger siblings when I was pregnant with my 8 month old. I'm curious what books you've found and what you think of them.

Paige (Jodeir) Brorman said...

Come on Mrs. K! She knows I'm almost positive she know a lot more than you think or want her to know. There are kids in her class that know wayyyyyyy to much! #2 She doen't want to have that talk anything she doesn't already know she will learn next year. What you may need to do is at the begining of 6th grade ask her what she knows don't make her go into detail but she needs to know alot of what she will learn from the nurse in the nest two years. Ya'll are a good Christian family and so she isn't exposed to that kind of stuff as much so you need to talk after 5th grade so she doesn't come off Amish or say a word she doesn't know the meaning of and then she finds out and she is TOTALLY embarrassed!!!!!!! That may have happend to me before 5th grade I remember so just watch what she says and correct her if she says something wrong!

Nic said...

Yes!! I feel the same way! Taylor almost 10 we have talked a little bit but I don't want to rush things. Taylor once told me Sex was an ugly word. We told her it wasn't. That God made it for married people to show their love for each other and of course for babies =) That it is only made ugly when two people are not married. I would like to know the name of the books too.

rhallski said...

only answer what she asks -- honestly -- try not to overload her with too much at once

Anonymous said...

I suggest taking Calleigh on a girls only night. Take her to a favorite restaurant and dress up, allow her to wear make up or something special like some of your lipstick. Tell her how much she means to you and have the " talk " over a fun dinner and possibly shopping or something that Calleigh would especially enjoy. Also, don't go into detail too much. Just give her something to think about , let her know when and how and why her body is changing and then let her know that that is ok. That she is just growing into a women and that there is nothing to be afraid of . This is also a good time , if your family chooses, to introduce purity rings, or simply pick out something that Calleigh would remember your talk and think of it as a memorable fun, mother daughter experience rather than the dreaded "talk" .

MomBrose said...

I am very honest with my girls about things like a period, and when you have babies. We tell them from early on when they say they want to be "mamas" that they will get to AFTER they are married. Maybe 5th grade or 6th grade is a good time to introduce the "how" in talking about babies. Approach it biblically in that it is something VERY special for a married couple to share. As she gets older, just keep the line of communication open. She will find out that folks DON'T wait, so it's important to tell her WHY we wait.

Rody and Wendy Chesser said...

hey there...you all also have a great opportunity being around animals. My kids (being a part of brandings) have learned that boys/girls are different but that you need one of each to make babies (be it human, cows, etc) without going into the detail of how it works. And I agree the most important thing is to teach it biblically. That when contained within marriage, it is something that is good and pure and created by God. I would DEFINITELY talk to her before she is "taught" it formally in school. And trust God to give you the words. We have found (not purchased yet) some good books at homeschool conference that start with nature (plants, animals, etc) before moving into the human aspect of it. Also- had a good friend tell me not to freak out when it "grossed" my kid out that her daddy and I kissed after we had the talk. praying for you sister