After attending Women of Faith this past weekend, I expected to come home rejuventated and full of inspiration...ready to conquer the world. This just wasn't the case. With each speaker that spoke throughout the weekend, I could totally relate to their testimony. It was as if God were bringing all this "stuff" to the forefront because it was time to deal with it. I realized that I am truly a Perfect Mess!!!
Sunday, it was almost as if I couldn't even sing in church. I just couldn't do it!!! As I was leaving church, my sweet friend, Judy, asked why I hadn't been my usual spunky self this weekend. Boy, did she get more than she bargained for. The floodgates opened and it all came out...every last morsel of my perfect mess.
Here is the totally crazy God thing...when I got home to get Robby to go to a birthday party in the city (he had to work and was unable to go to church), he started talking about this revelation that God had given him this weekend. As we're talking I am thinking...maybe he was at church and heard my endless blubbering. God revealed to Robby that his expectations, right or wrong, were too high. Is there such thing as having too high of expectations?? Seriously!! I have very high expectations...for myself, for Robby, our children, my students. Am I just setting myself up for disappointment and frustration when my expectations are not being met?
My kids are great kids. I am causing strife between us to expect them to reach every goal and make perfect grades. They are successful. A grade on a report card does not define success.
A "lived in" house does not define me as a poor house keeper, or an unfit mother. I am causing discord between myself, our children, and Robby when I constantly nag about the house being perfect. Not to mention the frustration that is building inside of me with every little thing I find out of place.
When others don't do a job to meet my high expectations, I step in and help get the job done "right". This causes me to be pulled in so many different directions, and become stressed out.
The list could go on my friends....
Yesterday, was a better day. We were out of the house without scurrying here and there. The kids got all their homework done withut a fuss. Dinner was on the table (although the kids were not fond of it). We sat down and watch "our show" and then off to bed at a decent hour. I even had time to sneak a few pictures of the kids. It was awesome. I loved yesterday!!! It gave Robby and I some time to pay bills (OK, so I loved most of my day) and spend time together without kids underfoot. This does not happen for us very often at all. I loved it!!! Maybe I just needed a good cry to get it all off my shoulders and move on???
As for high expectations...I still have no answer. I do not want to create a home full of chaos and disorder, yet I do not want my children to think that mediocrity is the best they can do. Would love to hear your thoughts.
Have a blessed day!!!