Tuesday, November 03, 2009

a better day

After attending Women of Faith this past weekend, I expected to come home rejuventated and full of inspiration...ready to conquer the world.  This just wasn't the case.  With each speaker that spoke throughout the weekend, I could totally relate to their testimony.  It was as if God were bringing all this "stuff" to the forefront because it was time to deal with it.  I realized that I am truly a Perfect Mess!!!

Sunday, it was almost as if I couldn't even sing in church.  I just couldn't do it!!!  As I was leaving church, my sweet friend, Judy, asked why I hadn't been my usual spunky self this weekend.  Boy, did she get more than she bargained for.  The floodgates opened and it all came out...every last morsel of my perfect mess. 

Here is the totally crazy God thing...when I got home to get Robby to go to a birthday party in the city (he had to work and was unable to go to church), he started talking about this revelation that God had given him this weekend.  As we're talking I am thinking...maybe he was at church and heard my endless blubbering.  God revealed to Robby that his expectations, right or wrong, were too high.  Is there such thing as having too high of expectations??  Seriously!!  I have very high expectations...for myself, for Robby, our children, my students.  Am I just setting myself up for disappointment and frustration when my expectations are not being met?

My kids are great kids.  I am causing strife between us to expect them to reach every goal and make perfect grades.  They are successful.  A grade on a report card does not define success.

A "lived in" house does not define me as a poor house keeper, or an unfit mother.  I am causing discord between myself, our children, and Robby when I constantly nag about the house being perfect.  Not to mention the frustration that is building inside of me with every little thing I find out of place.

When others don't do a job to meet my high expectations, I step in and help get the job done "right".  This causes me to be pulled in so many different directions, and become stressed out. 

The list could go on my friends....

Yesterday, was a better day.  We were out of the house without scurrying here and there.  The kids got all their homework done withut a fuss.  Dinner was on the table (although the kids were not fond of it).  We sat down and watch "our show" and then off to bed at a decent hour.  I even had time to sneak a few pictures of the kids.   It was awesome.  I loved yesterday!!!  It gave Robby and I some time to pay bills (OK, so I loved most of my day) and spend time together without kids underfoot.  This does not happen for us very often at all.  I loved it!!!  Maybe I just needed a good cry to get it all off my shoulders and move on???

As for high expectations...I still have no answer.  I do not want to create a home full of chaos and disorder, yet I do not want my children to think that mediocrity is the best they can do.  Would love to hear your thoughts. 

Have a blessed day!!!

1 comment:

~Micah said...

Ok, so I left a lengthy comment earlier and changed pages before I saved it...ughhhh! I debated leaving a comment, but decided I would since I hope someone would do the same for me if they felt they had something helpful for my day.
My bible study this morning had a lot to do with striving to be great, and for the perfectionist person like myself, I thought it would encourage me to keep on trying to be perfect...this was not the case. My study, Esther (it's really great!), reminded me "Perfectionists always lose!" "If your identity is wrapped in the magnificent things you're destined to achieve, the thought you might produce something mediocre can be devastating!" I am always trying to keep the perfect house, have the perfect kids, run the perfect business and be the perfect wife, but in doing my study, realized that "Craving to do something great can keep me from doing something good!" If I try to run the perfect business, my kids and my husband suffer, by trying to keep the perfect house, my relationships suffer, etc. I don't think Beth Moore meant not to do a good job at what we've been called to do, "every gift is a trust placed in human hands by a holy god...it is our job to know what to do with it"! But, "spending ourselves for something infinitely greater still fans our parched souls with the God-given NEED TO MATTER!" In short, "to live for the greatness of God is to live the great life!" I know I did a lot of quoting from my study, but these words spoke to me on the same issues you talked about! Sometimes being good at something allows me to be good at other things also. I don't have to be perfect at one and fail at the other. I can be GOOD at them both! Be encouraged, from the outside looking in, I am encouraged to know that those who "have it all together" (you) still struggle to keep a balance in their lives!